#WONKY ENGLISH# ... can you fix it? yes we can!

         Found this the other day while eating lunch in the park,  ( not in the rubbish bin ).  For those of you in overseas countries that are not quite sure what it is,  it's a can of soft drink called C.C.  Lemon.  This is the low calorie version.  It also has some rather strange English written on it.  This is what it says: " New zero calorie refreshment with a plentiful of vitamin C ".  

         This needs a simple fix ladies & gentlemen ... is there anybody out there brave enough for the challenge?  Come on,  don't be shy ... strut ya stuff!!  :))

                                                      Cheers   :))

        

"TALES FROM TOKYO" -- THE ENDLESS SUMMER

    Check this out for a disaster!!

                       Summer was rolling along wickedly.  I couldn't remember the last time it had rained.  Tokyo's sky had also been blue!  Normally during summer,  because of the intense humidity the sky is hazy,  gray and it's rare to see the blue of the sky.  But this summer was different.  Blue,  blue and blue was all we saw here in Tokyo, day in and day out.

          It was time to go to the beach.  Not a beach where the locals go.  Naaaa,  Izu is where we are heading!  At least that's what I would try and arrange anyway.  Jared,  my very cool friend from New Zealand was leaving Japan soon and what better farewell gathering could there be than to get a good bunch of friends together down to a fantastic location for 4 days of drinking,  surfing,  body surfing,  snorkeling and numerous naughty things that  a bunch of dudes to get up to!?

*** YOU BLEEDIN' SOD *** WONKY ENGLISH

              English is an interesting language indeed.  There are a variety of countries around the world that are native English speakers or use English as an adopted language or even as a second language to their own. 

              English can be polite or it can be down right dirty!  One of the fun aspects about English for me is learning different slang from other English speaking countries.  In England there is no better place to learn slang.  It's the home of slang!!  Isn't that where English came from?  If you go to England please pick up some slang.  It's fun. 

              Take this word for eg.   Sod.  A sod is a disagreeable person.  Someone that is basically awkward or disagrees with someone else's comments or suggestions.  A person that is generally not liked so much.   "He's a bit of a sod", one woman might say( with her claws out ) to her friend as they are gossiping about the next door neighbour.

               So, ..... if you have ever wondered what it is like to be a Sod,  then your chance is finally here.  Not only can you be a Sod but you have the opportunity to be a professional SOD-ist !!  It's not that difficult to be a sod,  so go on,  try for that step higher,  ... look for that extra punch in the guts by the guy sitting next to you on the bus,  that hang bag swing into your head by the grandma you've just insulted,  ... and become .... a SOD-ist   :))

                                                                    You scum bag  :))
                           

MY NEW HOME

Took a cycle down towards Yokohama recently.  I just rounded a corner when there in front of me I saw the accommodation of my dreams!!  BEER  VILLAGE!!  I stopped,  my mouth fell open and a gasp of wonder escaped me!!   Have I arrived in heaven?

                                      Cheers  :))



# A COOL PRODUCT #

                                               http://www.fuma.co.jp


                  Looking for a bike that will rip the way for you down the hill.  There won't need to be a trail,  the G-Spot from COVE BIKES will create one for you!!  Just point it where you want to go and let the wicked full suspension float you down!! 

                  This little beauty has just arrived at OUTDOOR SPACE in Shinjuku.  There's only 1 in the shop so go and take a look,  you won't be disappointed!!

                  Ask one of the friendly staff there,  Yuichi or Fresh ...  these guys know what you want to know!!

THE REALLY EASY HITCH-HIKING GUIDE

                  G'day and welcome to the Really Easy Hitch-Hiking Guide  :))

    Probably your first response would be:

    1  "I'm not getting into a strangers car!!"

                            or

    2   "I value my life!  I don't want to get done in by some crazy wacko!!"

               These are the first 2 instant comments or thoughts people always say. 

     A quick question for you.

     Q.  Is there ANYTHING anywhere that won't cause injury or death?


                     Anyway,  lets quit that hypothetical nonsense and get on with the fun,  the need to do,  the freedom held within ...  lets talk about the art of hitch-hiking.  :))

# RECIPE # for very tasty Mexican Frijoles

Voted as "Tasty" by my excellent Mexican friend Carlos

     What you need:     

                     2 cans of Pinto Beans or Bortolli Beans ( to be honest I've never heard of or see a can of Bortolli Beans in my entire life so don't worry too much if you can't find those )

                     1 Can of Red Kidney Beans
                     1 Large Onion
                     1 Pack of Bacon    ( depending how much you like Bacon )  :))
                     Some Salsa Sauce
                     Salt and Pepper      ( to taste )

          A blender is really useful if you have one.  Otherwise you need to mash the beans to a pulp.

HAPPY TO GET AWAY

            It had been many years since I had been back to Australia.  Can't be helped I guess.  When at the age of 13 your parents drag you to the other side of the world, there's very little choice at that age.

            There are good memories and sad memories about leaving home.  The sad was never seeing my dog, Sam,  again.  The happy was getting away from school.  I was in big trouble!!  A small bunch of friends and I had discovered how to play with matches.  But we are not talking about 1 match,  we were playing with the whole box at the same time.  We called it a " match box bomb ".  This involved taking half of the flint off,  placing it against the heads of the matches inside the box,  closing the box and then sealing it with masking tape.  It has to be masking tape because it seals better.  Once this has been done very gently, it is thrown quite heavily onto the ground and usually a detonation occurs if not the first time then the second or third attempt.  Depending on how well sealed the box is can determine the power and loudness of the explosion.

             So,  the  "match box bombs " that my friend and I detonated at the end of the school day were well sealed so the effect within the busy school playing area was quite chaotic!!  Extremely loud is close to the point!!

             The next day at school the Head Master didn't waste time summoning us to his office.  To put it bluntly,  we were in deep shit!!

             This is why I have a happy memory of leaving Australia because within a few days I was going to England for a couple of months for a holiday to visit my grand parents and the rest of the clan.

             I never found out what punishment my friend received.  I'm sure he wouldn't have been in the good books for a while at school though! 


                             P.S. 

                     This story is for you Scott, where ever you may be.  Thanks for the great memories  :))

"STREET BEER" #2

                                              Here we are loitering again  :))


                  Ya have to love it!!  Street beer again in Shibuya.  We have been lucky with the weather this last week.  We have all got T-shirts on, it's warm and the beer is flowing  : ))

                   Introductions from left to right are;  The one and only Jey-J. ( he just got back from a gig ..... "I DEMOLISHED them aLL!!!" ),  Carlos ( "I wanna have 5 girlfriends soon" ),  A.J. ( "I'm going to the shop around the corner, back soon :)" ),  Steve the P.C. dude (  "Did you get the crack for that?" ),  .... the guy with the blue T-shirt popped up in the photo just as the camera flashed, looks like some homeless slob!!,  Red hat dude is Justin ( "Please help the SAVE JUSTIN APPEAL everyone ... and that's my wife over there" ),  Chick in pink is Justin's girlfriend :))

                   Yeah,  Justin and I had a free night of beer too.  We were walking to our drinking spot when at the same time we both saw a 5,ooo yen note on the ground!!  It was poetry in motion as we both dived for it with our hands touching half and half!! 
                  As usual a fine time was had,  lots of beer went down,  no hassles from the police box near by,  good crowd of people walking by and plenty of luuuuvly sights to see  :))

                                       Cheers for now,   "see you in the street some time"  :))

                   
                                   

WILD STORY of ADVENTURE #4 ... Buses & Bombs

           Turkey is one country I'm sure is on everyone's wish list to travel to one day.  I regard Turkey as a similar country to Australia.  It's a vast and open country with plenty of sights to see, things to do and great people.

                        But bombs and me seem to always meet!

EXOTIC, CHAOTIC ... and ... EROTIC !??

                             

       In the "Hotcrackers" dictionary,  the word "ERO" has the following meaning:


                    ERO .... short for Erotic.  An erotic mind,  a way of thinking.  Being erotically inclined.  To almost or always have the want for a sexual encounter, or if by yourself, a sexual fantasy.  For eg;  "Oh darling,  you look absolutely stunning and extremely horny in those horse riding boots,  that mini skirt and bra!!  I'm feeling very erotic!"

         So next time you are in a restaurant and feeling "Ero",  order a plate of rice,  scoff it down and head home for a night of wonderful pleasure.  Whether alone or in the company of an extremely attractive partner.  :))

         By the way,  any suggestions as to what the ingredients for "Ero Rice" could be?

INSIDE ..... OUTDOOR SPACE

                                 
                             

NEED A BIKE? LOOK NO FURTHER THAN .....

The only place I go!

           Ladies and Gentlemen,  dudes and dudesses,  fans of bikes all around the world,  the time has arrived for me to introduce a top bike shop that I exclusively do all my shopping from ( no fruit and veg though ) ....  OUTDOOR SPACE in Shinjuku  :))

           I'll let you in on who's who in the shop.  We'll start with Yuichi,  he's the manager.  When Yuichi is at Fujimi Panorama there's only one way his bike goes and that's straight down the hill at full speed .... jumps,  roots,  ruts and drop offs are made too easy by Yuichi!  :)    Next is the best wheel builder in Tokyo,  a man that has too many Yeti bikes  :))  ( give me one please ),  can build a bike with his eyes closed,  let me introduce to you Fresh!!   Actually that's his nick name,  I don't know his real name  :)

           And,  that's it!!  Only these 2 guys work there,  live there and eat all their breakfasts,  lunches and dinners in the shop,  the only time they can do something recreational is when the shop is closed on wednesdays.  Yuichi and Fresh are extremely friendly,  kind and don't mind how many questions you have about bikes.  When Fresh built my Yeti,  Yuichi was very entertaining and even did some break dancing by spinning on his head in the middle of the shop just to past the time  :))

          These guys are GREAT!!  If you need a bike please visit the OUTDOOR SPACE shop in Shinjuku,  if you have any questions about bikes please ask Yuichi or Fresh at OUTDOOR SPACE in Shinjuku .... go on don't be shy!!  :))

                     

DRINK YOUR DOG?

        Everyone knows that when doing some kind of physical exertion we sweat.  Some people sweat a lot,  I guess it's how much effort one puts in. At high school I remember licking my sweat just to find out the taste   :))

        Sports drinks galore fill the shelves of supermarkets and convenient stores and are very popular.  But now we are lucky ( or unlucky ) depending how much one loves their dog,  to be able to drink our dogs sweat!!  Yes,  it's been bottled for the likes of those people out their that want to go that little bit further to enhance our bodies potential and to have an ever lasting bond with their dog!!

                                            WooF   WooF       :))